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Welcome to my blog. The contents of this blog are written entirely in Chinglish. If you are unfamiliar with the language (I dunno if Chingish even qualifies as one), please refer to the Chinglish/English dictionary here. Hope you enjoy your visit and please, prove that you exist to me by signing my guestbook.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I do not define myself by my mistakes 

I am trying not to, anyways.

If I do, I will turn out exactly like my mother.

On the phone, she asked me if I applied to Guelph. Why would I apply to Guelph? Why would I actively manifest the worst case scenario for myself? A single “NO” does not set the trend for the rest of the schools I applied to. Is having a back-up of back-up-back-up-back-up school not safe enough? Way to have faith in me, Mom.

In all sincerity, I appreciate the point she is trying to raise: what I am trying to pursue academically is not working and an alternate strategy may be needed. She is trying to convince me that sometimes things in life don’t work out and to just suck it up. Understood. But I do not want to give up prematurely, not yet. I am willing to gamble that another school somewhere will find something about me they would like to see more of.

I know I made a big mistake in undergrad which resulted in less than satisfactory academic standings. Many doors shut in my face. But those will not remain closed to me forever, not if I keep working on it. I am not doomed. I am not second-rate. I don’t go on living my past mistakes.

I'll rant about how my mother keeps on living her mistakes later.

# posted by Ching @ 10:04 p.m.
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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Don't wanna grow up just yet 

Facts of adult life:

1. Taxes

2. Mortgages

3. Debt

4. Insurance

I am starting to hate #4. Reason: I filed a claim for $200.00 and got a cheque back for $20.00 when the reimbursement rate is 100%. Apparently they forgot a zero. Why couldn't they error in the other direction and give me a cheque of $2000.00?

# posted by Ching @ 8:21 p.m.
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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Bearing the weight (and the wait) 

Facebook has been a wonderful tool of procrastination. However, through it, I also found out that a whole wack of my peers have applied to Medicine and received interviews. And the fact that my mother called to say that one guy in my program has gotten 10(!!!) interview just tops it all off. The nagging sensation that people younger than me are getting ahead of me in life is getting difficult to ignore. People are getting interviews to medschool; meanwhile, I am getting rejection letters from Graduate schools.

*deep breath*

Writing things down usually helps.

I am reminding myself, that I am not ready to devote myself to a career such as Medicine just yet.

I have to remind myself that last year, I was completely burnt out, both mentally and physically, and that taking a year off is necessary.

I have to remind myself, that I am not standing still, but making slow progress towards that ultimate goal.

I have to remind myself, that what works for other people may not work for me and to trust my own intuitions.

I have to remind myself to not regret the past, but to accept everything as valuable learning lessons.

I have to remind myself to believe. And I do.

# posted by Ching @ 7:27 p.m.
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