I love my little brother, most admittedly because I have to…but sometimes, because I want to.

He impatiently waited for me to come home this weekend, and cried last weekend because I didn’t.During the trip back to China, he got up at 6am (stupid time zone difference) to make me tea. After two hours, that cup got cold and he then made me another cup.

Two days ago my brain was throbbing with the pain of having to re-learn Organic Chemistry again by just one look at the giant textbook. This little guy, spurred on by nothing more than pure curiosity, flipped through the first chapter and appeared to have a sound grasp of the representation of electron cloud distribution and the difference between alkane, alkene, and alkynes (single, double and triple bonds). I couldn’t help but marvel at the ease and enthusiasm he displayed. At the same time, it made me want to go cry in a corner because a nine year old gets Organic Chemistry better than I do. I bet he wouldn’t have trouble getting funding for graduate school.

Then again, he is also the one who always tore open my mail, despite being told not to do so. The most recent incident was quite severe, as the letter he opened is a confidential reference letter from my undergraduate thesis advisor to graduate studies at U of Ottawa. Oops. And grrRrrRrrrr.

Last time I put all my eggs in one basket. This time I spread those in so many baskets that I am having a horrible time keeping track of which baskets I put 'em in. Is there such a thing as "overlearning from your mistakes"?

This past Wednesday I actually called in “sick”, ran down to London to meet a prof regarding grad opportunities. The meeting definitely was fruitful. This guy holds a MD and PhD, and has an exceptional track record of research publications. Oh and, he is not even close to 40! He basically told me that I will get into the program for sure, and that if he were to take me on, full funding is provided for the first year. What I didn’t expect, is him telling me that the program at McMaster is far superior to that at Western, and that I should just stay in Hamilton instead. What’s more, I got this grand counseling session from his grad student Rob regarding gradschool, medschool and life in general (or how medicine can ruin one’s life). Rob is your typical Asian bookie semi-shy doctor: a complete gentleman who offered to carry my stuff repeatedly (I honestly had little to carry...or maybe I was just appeared incapable and clumsy?) and didn’t make eye contact half the time. The stacks of x24 Cola cases, instant noodles and Chinese snacks were also quite indicative of his work ethic.

I finally, officially, registered for the MCAT but a little late it seems. All the Hamilton test centre seats have been taken. Boo. I am going to Toronto for the big day. I guess I could wait for last minute seat availabilities (people do chicken out), but at the same time, I don’t want to lose the Toronto reservation. A bus ride won’t kill me.

Applications for Western, Ottawa and Dalhousie have yet to be sent in…paperwork is getting on my nerves. Despite all my bitching, complaining, and research, I am still biting the deadline on the ass and sending everything via 24 hour courier. All I need is someone to say yes.

Work was somewhat hellish this past week. I realized that I am very very behind in fulfilling my boss's deadline expectations (I hate feeling incompetent) and the days are going to be quite busy. On top of that, my replacement, Shannon, seems to be a less-than-desired candidate for the job. I have a feeling that I will be wishing for a clone in the near future.

I am so totally joining the "grad application is a giant pain in the behind" club.

Jack, I feel for you.

Some universities have easy-to-navigate websites that's provide up-to-date information (not last year's dates) and description of their faculty members' research interests including publications. These are rare. Way to go Mac, UofT and Dalhousie.

Western is definitely not on that list!

Aside from making the applicant click in circles through a maze of links, Western's general School of Graduate Study page links to the wrong department website all together. I found the right department website but it doesn't really do much in terms of helping the applicant choose their potential thesis advisors. No description of research interests, no list of publications and no teaching/other activities provided...just an email address. Ugh! Now I have to friggin' PubMed every single faculty to weed out the bad ones. This literately triples the time commitment towards this application. What if there is a potential investor looking to do a collaborative research project? The poorly constructed and uninformative website would turn me off in about 10 second flat in terms of how this department/institution measures up.

There is a reason why I didn't even bother with Western for undergrad, and the only reason I am applying right now is to "spread my eggs" a bit more. Okay, maybe a nudge from a friend in the same program who gave a good review.

If I get accepted at Western...that acceptance better be coupled with a briefcase of cash. If I get rejected, it won't hurt a bit.

I think there should be a book teaching Asian children how to communicate to their parents (effectively that is!). Given the number of Asian people on this planet, it’s a guaranteed global best seller.

And it should include topics such as:
1. “I am giving 110% in school! Not everyone can be in the 99th percentile grade wise and a few percent less doesn’t mean that I am doomed to be a failure in life”
2. “Life is more than just school”
3. “If first you don’t succeed, trying again does not equate failure. Perseverance does not mean that I am delusional in thinking I can make it, it means I am driven to reach my goals.”
4. “The age of arranged marriages is over. He/she is good enough for me.”
5. “Life is more than just prestige, money and honour (whatever that means these days)”
6. “Living at home while pursuing post-secondary education is financially logical but makes one insane”
7. “Stop comparing me to other Chinese children or what life was when you were young. A few positive reinforcement techniques can go a long way, really!”
8. “Learn to be proud of me just the way I am”
10. “I love you but I cannot be who you envision me to be, for I seek happiness in life”

Really, there should be. I’d buy a copy.

Just found out that the MCAT exam is now completely computerized and the number of test dates increased from twice a year to 22 times a year.

Okay, so much for my grand April exam plan.

New things to consider:

1. Glitches with the computer system. Heaven forbid I’ll get a malfunctioning computer…then again, those scantron sheet readers aren’t 100% accurate either.

2. Grading. With the test takers spread out over more test dates, how will that affect standardization of the scores? Generally, the greater the test population the more accurate the standardization to a normal bell curve (regression to the mean, yeah stats).

3. The test time is now reduced to 4.5 hours. Should I pick the 8am test start time or the 12 pm one? Should I write it on April 7, 12, or 16?

4. This format is new and the amount of computerized preparation material available now is limited. Should I wait until the prep companies revamp their test material to make preparing for this exam more effective (supposedly)?

Wow considerations....