Today, as I walked by the athletic centre to my car, I noticed a disabled person push the police button by the Emergency Pole. She had extreme speech difficulties and the operator was having trouble understanding her. A passing by student stopped and offered help and I walked up as well. Her name is Maggie. We had a hard time understanding what Maggie was trying to say, and her voice was growing louder with impatience. Finally, I managed to spell out “I am not dumb, I don’t need help”. So I asked if Maggie would like to be left alone, and she finally calmed down. We both left Maggie, bid her good day and Maggie thanked us.

Now that I think about it, it must be so difficult for Maggie to deal with people who couldn’t understand her and associate her speech impairment with stupidity. I guess that when my facial expression was that of confusion, it signaled to Maggie that I was looking down on her even though I was only trying to help. I bet that Maggie is fluent in sign language. I wish I know sign language too.

My battle cry (according to various nicknames):

1. Yea, verily: Who is that, rampaging through the hotel lobby! It is Chingers, hands clutching a meaty axe! She screams homicidally:
"In the name of malice, I destroy all in my path like the world's mightiest bad-ass!!!"

2. Yea, verily: Who is that, rampaging across the fields! It is Ching, hands clutching a thorned whip! And with a vengeful cry, her voice cometh:
"I'm going to spackle you with wasabi!"

3. Hark! Who is that, skulking on the freeway! It is Chingaling, hands clutching a reflective halberd! She cries ominously:
"I'm going to bruise you until you spontaneously degenerate!!"

4. Striding along the desert, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using two hardened pitas, cometh Cha-Ching! And she gives a spectacular bellow:
"Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! I will bend the enemy to my wicked will!!!"

5. Sprinting amidst the plains, brandishing a bladed baseball bat, cometh Qing! And she gives a spectacular roar:
"I'm going to fuck you like it's my job!!"

Now the last one is a bit interesting....I think the creators got a bit tired and decided to use something unoriginal.

Right now I’m feeling as though I am letting everyone down, including myself.

For the first time ever, I had brain freeze during my Anatomy practical exam. For the life of me I could not recall information, vital information. Let’s pray I got everything else perfect.

My Mammalian Physiology Lab group finished the last group assignment without me. They met yesterday without me. I was so wrapped up cramming for Anatomy that I couldn’t make it. And I didn’t even check my email to give the edited version a final read until this afternoon…after they have already handed it in. I feel as though I’m letting them down too.

Mom sent memo for me to edit. It’s a permission to leave for her bosses. In it she talked about the health issues of my grandmother. And how we had to wait til I’m done exams to go back to China even though it’s not the best time and how I must go because I was so close to my grandmother. Bullshit! I was never close with my grandmother. Mom should stop dreaming up healthy family relations. I’m also beginning to wonder about my grandfather. Mom and Dad don’t talk about him anymore. I honestly have the sneaking suspicion that he past away already. But I’m not going to be an idiot and ask directly. I know I’m not close to my grandfather either…but at least tell me if he is still in this world! I know too much information about my extended family relations can make me very depressed and angry but some news I should be entitled to. I guess I will find out the truth once I get back home.

Okay, so look at this picture.

Their instruments are the coolist things I've ever seen! Wouldn't you like a violin or cello like that?

For more sassy instruments with sassy girls go here

I went to the Gryphon Dome several minutes ago hoping to run off some frustration and adrenaline. So such luck, the place is packed with parents and high school girls...stupid soccer tournament.

I have been trying to avoid my folks and any serious conversation about life at all cost. I wasn’t successful this morning and wound up being lectured by my Mother. She is seriously worried about me and my lack of initiative to look for other Graduate School placements. The concept of “I’m burnt out and I can’t stand any more talk about school or the awful state of my grades” doesn’t really work with her. To Mom, I’m just hopelessly lost and she worries about this miserable state as a permanent thing. Apparently Mom and Dad has been talking and Dad thought that it’s okay for me to stop pursuing higher education, get a mediocre job and be done with life planning. Mom thought I had more potential, which is why she is trying to push me in the right direction. Notice how there is no middle ground there? Why the idea of taking a year off working then going back to school won’t take root in their minds is beyond me. She’s asking me to make contacts with my professors, employers, friends, anyone at all who might have ties to other schools. I told her I can’t do any more planning right now as I am fully occupied in schoolwork. Hell, I have a 15 page essay worth 35% of my grade due tomorrow and so far I’ve got three pages. I ain’t kiddin about workload. And it’s not as if she is making my life any easier. By planning this big family trip home, she’s asking me to pack during my final exams and be on a 32 hr flight the morning after my last exam. I do not get to breathe. That’s why I need to be away, that’s why I need time off. So I can breathe and feel human again.