Homesick no more!

Nothing better than a fabulous bushwalk to chase away the homesickness bug! On Saturday, UniMates organized a bushwalk along the Manly Scenic Walkway. Christa and I had a late start and we never really caught up to the UniMates group. That did not hinder our excitment one bit because the day was just too gorgeous. Besides, it's more liberating traveling by ourselves anyways. Great exericise I must say! The most noteworthy moment would be when I almost stepped on a poor lizard at one of the lookout points. I did appologize! We started from the Spit Bridge and the walk was about 6 km in total, ending in Manly. I've gotta say, I'm very jeolous of the folks living in Manly...it's a total beach town. I'm drooling over every single house as I'm walking through Manly. Now I understand why visitors to Australia end up being residents...the living environment is very attractive!

News flash!

My parents just bought another house, so I’ll be returning home to a different home!

At this point, I really don't want to think about leaving for home. It's too early for that. I'm sure all I want after I get off the plane is a bed. That's all I want. Christa's list is much longer. Who knows, maybe mine will grow.

Hey.

I'm still here.

The semester is starting to get busier. My Pharmacology lab is surprisingly easy and straightforward. I' m reading the one page lab report instructions and thinking " oh man, this is SO highschool!" However, they make it a big pain in the ass because it has to be completed in groups. Group lab reports are just ridiculous. Especially when the group consists of seven people! It's pointless trying to coordinate schedules. -_- I'm getting a mobile soon because it's just such a pain trying to get a hold of people through a payphone all the time.

Other than that, not much to report on. Well, stuff has been happening, but I'm still getting over that homesickness, I think. I just don't have the motivation to share my experiences (and that would explain the lack of updates) and I get frustrated really easily. Of course, I could just indulge in chocolate and ingage in retail-therapy...but such behaviours are not very healthy. It's sooo hard to walk through a mall without going into the shops to get something. Drooling at the lovely stuff behind the glass windows is not fun! If there's one thing I miss, it's not having to worry about my account balance every time I pull out my wallet.

"Shit, it's already 11pm? I've been crying for an hour?"

I know, that thought didn't sound very positive. But about an hour ago, I officially hit the lowest point since I arrived on this continent. The roller coaster didn't seem so much fun anymore. I no longer have the sparkle in my eyes when I look around me. Things are not better than they were at home. Ching is still Ching and couldn't handle everything with poise and grace and a positive attitude any longer.

Everything was fine this morning when I woke up in my brand new room in my brand new house (and I can say so because the place is newly renovated). The day went well. Christa went to the Australian Museum with the gang and managed to get herself contact info for a volunteering opportunity there. She is taking the initiative to help the Museum classify their Invertebrate Collection. Sounds fun eh? It's not a job for everyone, that's for sure.

I had to go to campus and put together a Powerpoint presentation for my Accounting class, so I couldn't go to the Museum. Some other day, I suppose. In the evening, Christa, Bunny (yes, that is ACTUALLY his name), our other flatmate, and I went shopping at Bi-Lo in the Broadway Shopping Mall. Apparently Bunny just don't do shopping...he said that he lacked the ability. In fact, he'd been eating instant meals all week and waiting for us to show up so that impossible feat could be undertaken. Well, Christa and I are going to teach him a thing or two; today is lesson #1. Note: Shopping on an empty stomach is not good. Bunny wanted to get out of the grocery store SO bad towards the end. He wasn't very patient during the process. At one point Bunny looked over while Christa was getting some green beans and said "My god! She's picking every single bean!" I looked at him and said "Well yeah...the beans were really picked over. And besides, if we can choose what we are paying for then we're not going to ignore that privilege". He just shook his head.

Dinner was basically decided upon what disparately needed to be cooked from the fridge. It worked well for a stir fry. I always cook too much for Christa and I. Apparently, that quantity suits three people perfectly. All we had left over tonight was rice. Bunny didn't know how to use chopsticks and kept looking at Christa and I during our meal. I promised to teach him, and he is a very enthusiastic student. But I decided that it's not wise to teach anyone how to use chopsticks when they are starving.

After dinner, I cleaned up the kitchen and headed to Christa's room to use her laptop. Then I thought to myself "Oh wait, I can't remember everything that has happened because it's been forever since I last updated my blog; let me get my camera to remind me". And that's when things went terribly wrong. My camera is not in my room. Here's my train of thought : "Uh oh, it's...it's not here. Oh crap, I don't remember packing it for the move. In fact, the last time I saw it, I was out on the pub crawl. Shit...did I even bring it home? How did I not realize that I don't have my camera with me on the way home? Why did it take TWO DAYS for me to realize I'm missing it?! Where and when did I last see it? Oh no...no, no, no, NOOO!"

I didn't....

I turned my room upside down, swearing, my mind going at 100 miles/hr, and my heart pounding. Then I moved to the kitchen and asked Christa if she recall me bringing my camera home. But after a night like that one, asking her to recall such a small detail is no use. I can't even remember and I was sober for a good chunk of time.

Now, where and when did I last see it? We'd been to too many establishments during the night and just thinking about it made my head spin. Finally, I recalled Matt and I taking photos in front of The Three Wise Monkeys. That was the last stop of the night. And that's about much detail as I can remember.

I lost it.

Finally...I did it. I screwed up. I suck. I'm still irresponsible. I haven't grow up at all. I haven't changed. I can't get anything right.

Christa and Bunny tried desperately to calm me down and assure me that it could've been turned in to the bartender by a good soul; I just could not keep my cool any longer.

While they searched in the phone book for a number to call, I retreated to my room, plopped on down on the bed and immediately burst into tears. Reality sucks! I knew it. Everything had been going so well, TOO well: I have a great place to live despite the fact that the first house we moved into did not work out, Uni is not weighing me down, I've met some awesome people, I've attended a free concert at the Opera House, I have a room with a built-in closet with mirrored sliding doors, I can actually cook, I drank, I didn't get a hangover, I haven't gotten sick yet, I went swimming in the ocean even though it's the middle of winter, I have Christa...I have got everything. This is awesome. But I've also often wondered when I will hit rock bottom, and fearing that moment. It's as though I've been dreaming a beautiful dream with the awareness that I will have a painful wake up some day. Hey, I've been warned about this by the International Exchange Advisors at both universities. Well, everything shattered and crumbled in me. I hate myself so much. I want to go back in time and undo my past. I've been too careless and stupid and immature. I keep on repeating the same mistake, over and over again. I've regretted too much and I'm adding more to the list. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know what the hell I want in life. What I'm trying to prove anyways? Why did I even bother with this exchange? Why can't I keep both feet on the ground? Why didn't I realize that I'm missing my camera earlier? Who cares if Matt bought me a drink? Who cares if he was trying so very very hard to get me to return his kisses? Who cares if I made the decision not to respond to him? Those things are not important...

Then Christa came and put her arms around me. But I couldn't stop crying even though I was feeling so blessed and happy that I have her with me. Then Christa gave me what can only be described as heaven in a cup. I just sat there shaking, gripping the cup so tightly because the sweet scent soothes my mind and the warmth reaches the very bottom of my soul. It's slowly piecing my world together. And yet I cry some more.

Good thing there's a limit to how long a human being can cry. I've definitely reached mine.

It's already past midnight...I've been writing this entry for well over an hour. I have a presentation tomorrow in Accounting. I've wanted to work on that tonight...oh well. Hitting the bottom of the emotional roller coaster is more important. Things can only get better.

P.S: Kez, if you are reading this, DO not tell anyone about this. That's my responsibility.

This is a recap of our wonderful day at the Blue Mountains last Saturday. I meant to write about it on Sunday but here I am writing about this a week later.

Last Friday night we all stayed out late at Vikki's to watch American Pie 2 and consumed way too much junk food. We all agreed to meet at Heidi's for a day out to go to the Jenolan Caves. I was really tired and so was Christa, but we could not refuse such an invitation. So after we dragged ourselves home just before midnight, Christa set the alarm clock for 6:50am and we each retired to our rooms.

The big day had a pretty bad start. I woke up at 8:14am all confused and panicked because I'm supposed to be up an hour ago and should've headed to Heidi's half an hour ago. I went down the hall to find Christa also asleep. As it turned out, she had set the alarm to 6:50pm instead of 6:50am. Shit, I thought. Then Christa tried to call Triona to explain our situation, only to find her mobile phone asking for a security code she did not enter. Apparently, Triona has already text messaged her but with her mobile locked, Christa could not even access the message. So we called Triona via the house phone, apologized profusely and asked them to wait for us. Half an hour later, we met up with the gang at Triona's and met our gracious host of the day Phil. Yeah, our first Aussie! I could not help but laugh at the fact that all the people we have met up to this point(not including our flatmates) are international students! Damn Sydney Uni! Why would orientation for international students consist of international students only? What were they thinking? Would meeting a fellow Canadian allow me to learn more about Australia SO much more effectively than meeting the local students? Right...

Sorry about the side note. Anyways, we were off. Phil took us out of the city and to his place to pickup his friend Ben. It was about a half hour drive away. They had a pet snake in the house and Christa just instantly perked up hearing about that. I forgot the little guy's name or what type of snake it was. But it was very cute, actually. Out off the five girls, Christa held the snake with a bright smile and excitement in her eyes. Triona and Vikki just shrank to the corners. Heidi occupied herself with conversation with Phil while I studied the creature in Christa's arm with curiosity. That curiosity eventually led to me holding the snake in my arms. At first, the little guy was a bit nervous and constantly flickered its tongue to taste the air. Minutes later, it just rested calmly on my right arm. A relaxed snake is a good thing.

Then Ben showed up. A head full of dark curls, big bright eyes, boyish voice and an adventurous smile...what a darling. Basically, a lot of resemblance to the Trojan princes in the movie Troy. After some juice and more chatting, we hit the road again. Actually, wait, Ben forgot his keys for the car and somehow Ben's brother Jerry/Jered (or something like that) got mixed into all this mess. Not that we mind, might I add, because Ben's brother is just drop-dead gorgeous. And he looked nothing like Ben---short straight dirty blond hair and different facial features. I'm not going to ask how genetic works. I'm just happy with the results.

By the time we were officially on the road again, we were about one and a half hours behind schedule. We drove for about forty minutes and arrived at the first lookout point. It's such a shame that the weather wasn't cooperating that day, the wind was cold and the rain didn't help either. We had our first glance at the Three Sisters ---a very famous landmark in the Blue Mountains. I'm sure the scenery would look more impressive in the sunlight.

Ben proved himself to be quite useful and directed Phil, who was driving, to a few other lookout points. While we were traveling, there was a part where the landscape looked ridiculously similar to that of Ontario: grass plains with farms scattered throughout. Phil even drove on the right side of the road for a bit just to complete my distorted sense of being. Now I feel homesick. Just a little. It seemed like an eternity for us to get to the Jenolan Caves. We traveled from the top of the mountain, on the most twisted winding road down to see the caves. Not only did the boyz provide us with their smiles and enthusiasm, they also brought chocolate and lollies (aka gummies, I know, it makes no sense). Yes, we gals were very happy. I stuffed myself with too much lollies, partly because Triona keeps on passing the container back to my lap, and partly because I was getting a bit carsick from Phil's driving. I tried my hardest not to look sick or worse, make Phil stop the car so I could throw up. Thankfully, I felt better after some fresh air and walking on the cave tour.

The caves were amazing! There were stalactites that looked like the Statue of Liberty and one resembling a penis. Christa was the first one to notice and we all chuckled. It was more than eleven inches, I'm sure. I didn't get a photo of it though. Anyways...They also installed a sound system in the largest chamber of the caves and the acoustics were amazing. String quartets perform regularly in there but we couldn't afford one.

On the way home, Phil and Ben sang and danced to the radio. We were all thoroughly amused by that. We've gotta take those two clubbing sometime! Then we asked them to sing the Australian national anthem, and to our surprise, they just burst out in song. Then it was a round of national anthems. Heidi sang beautifully, she has a great voice. Christa and I on the other hand, tried to stay in key during our performance. We did a harmony for the last note of O Canada and we got a round of cheers even though we were horribly off key. I also taught everyone how to sing the first two lines of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in Chinese.

Good times.